You Can't Always Get What You Want
by TheFabDonna
Summary: Quinn has Finn. Finn wants Rachel. Rachel has Finn. Finn wants Quinn.  Why can't he just make up his mind? Quinn/Finn/Rachel triangle


Why was she worried about Rachel Berry in the first place? She was no one. Quinn was everyone. She was everything. Why would someone like Rachel Berry even register on her radar?

Why was she worried about that girl? Finn had been hanging around girls like Santana, Brittany, Lauren and the rest of the Cheerios, but he had never strayed. Not once. Why would she be worried about Rachel Berry? She was annoying, obnoxious, thought she was better than everyone, and not really all that pretty.

Okay, Quinn knew that last one was a lie. Rachel was pretty. Not in the supermodel way, but in the simple girl next door way. The way Finn liked. And she could sing. Quinn may bully her for it every day, but that girl could sing.

And Finn liked that. But she had nothing to worry about; Rachel Berry was just a little bump in the road. Finn loved her, and he would never leave. _Never. _

Why couldn't he stop thinking about Rachel? He had an amazing girlfriend, she was everything he could ask for, yet it was the taste of Rachel's lips that lingered when he went to bed that night.

It was her voice that echoed in his mind, the way she gently touched him, in hopes of something more. Why couldn't he get that out of his mind? He loved Quinn. He was with Quinn. So why was Rachel the only thing he could think about?

It didn't matter, he was with Quinn. He wouldn't leave her. _Right?_

Rachel couldn't believe it. He was finally hers. He had chosen to be with her. She'd won. For the first time, she'd actually won. Sure, she liked to pretend that she was a winner, and that she always got what she wanted. The truth was, Rachel had never really gotten anything.

The movie people told her she was too short, or her hair was to dark. The choreographers told her that her body wasn't slim enough. The world told her she didn't fit in. So when, she finally got Finn she was happy.

Finn had chosen her over Quinn. He said that he wanted to be with her now. So why did it hurt every time Finn looked at Quinn at rehearsal? Why did her stomach turn into knots when he talked to her in the hall?

Finn hated Quinn for what she did, and he loved her now. He would never go back to Quinn, _never._

Rachel was awesome, she really was. Sure, she was a little clingy and loud. But she understood him, she wanted him. No one else. Not like Quinn. Rachel would never cheat on him. Rachel made him happy.

He hated Quinn he really did, but still... Every time he saw her in the hall his heart still skipped a beat. Why?

When he saw her in rehearsal, looking broken and empty without his uniform he wanted to hug her, why?

It was because of Drizzle, even if he isn't the father doesn't mean he doesn't love that baby. So when he sees Quinn in the hall, and talks to her and feels that his heart skips a beat, it's because of Drizzle. Because he hates Quinn, and Rachel makes him happy… _Right?_

He told her that he loved her. That it would all be alright. That the past didn't matter anymore. And Rachel believed him. She believed that they could put it all behind them. Jesse, Santana, the whole mess. They were better people now. They were more complete. Finn understood now. Understood what she needed. Who she was. How she operated.

Then why did that familiar fear strike her every time he talked to Quinn? They were so over now that it wasn't even a blimp on the radar. Quinn was with Puck, or at least that what was Puck told her.

Besides, why would Finn want Quinn anyway? She had broken his heart. She'd cheated on him with his best friend. Why would Finn go back to her? He had no reason to. He was with her now. He had chosen her, again. Not Quinn. Its been 6 months since he had dumped Quinn and he hadn't gone back..

So why did her stomach turn to knots when Shue paired them up to groups and Finn and Quinn ended up together? Why couldn't she trust that at the end of the Finn would come home to her?

Because Finn loved her, and he would never cheat on her. _Never. _

Finn didn't understand it, but it hurt him to see Quinn kissing Puck in the hallway. It hurt him, like he couldn't explain. It shouldn't. He was with Rachel now. He had moved on, old feelings had been put away into a little box they never talked about.

Rachel understood. He loved Rachel. He really loved Rachel. In a way that he hadn't loved before. Rachel was different. He wanted Rachel, he loved Rachel. Then why did seeing Puck and Quinn hurt so much?

It had to because of Beth. Of babygate. It was old feelings resurfacing. The same betrayal biting at him. Making him angry, and sad all over again.

But it wasn't that same feeling, it was the same feeling he'd had when he saw Rachel kiss Jesse. But it didn't mean anything. It was just old anger and regret resurfacing. _Right?_

He was hers again now. Nothing could stop them. They were back where they always was supposed to be. Together in each other's arms. Everything else had been a mistake. They belonged together. They knew that now. And nothing could tear them apart.

But that feeling of in the back of her stomach that told her that he would never be fully hers, didn't want to go away. That feeling that said that he could never love her again after everything. That voice in her head that told her that he still loved Rachel didn't want to go away.

And she hated that. She hated that Finn couldn't make up his mind, that he kept jumping back and forth between them like they were a favorite football team that he could change just because one of his teams disappointed him.

She didn't like the feeling of having to look over her shoulder ever day in case that he would leave her again. For her.

The last time she could pretend that Rachel Berry was nothing. But this time, Rachel Berry was everything. She was the glooming sky on the horizon. The black cloud on a sunny day. Rachel Berry was everywhere, and Quinn hated it.

Finn was with her now, and she should be happy. He chose her. But when she saw the way Finn looked at Rachel during her performance, she knew that neither she or Rachel would ever have Finn completely. _Never._


End file.
